It's the most wonderful time of the year?

So it's the Christmas season again.  Bar none, this has always been my favorite time of year.  The baking, the family time, the decorating, the singing, the movies, the traditions that only your family has (e.g., at my parents place we always decorate the tree listening to the Beatles' white album).  All of it brings on a warm feeling in my heart just to think about it.  Unfortunately, for the past five years I've had conflicted feelings about Christmas because my husband is Jewish and I ended up converting to Judaism.  In so many ways Judaism fit me.  I loved the emphasis on learning and understanding scripture and traditions within the context of real life.  I also loved that I would share a religion with my husband (which wasn't the case for my parents), and that we would go to synagogue as a family.  I loved the idea of being Jewish for 11 months out of the year.  But when December would roll around, I would get a heaviness in my heart about things that used to be so uplifting for me.  Now that I was Jewish, I couldn't celebrate Christmas anymore.  Well, couldn't celebrate it in my home (we still went to my parents' place), because I had a Jewish home and Jewish homes don't have Christmas trees and manger scenes.  I tried so hard to rationalize that celebrating at my parents' house was enough, but year after year, the sadness and feelings of being left out grew.  Now my husband has been wonderful and we've made compromises throughout the years -- putting up blue and white lights outside (Israel's colours), decorating for the season with sparkly but not red/green decorations, etc., and in some ways that helped.  But in other ways it just reminded me that I'm not really allowed to celebrate the way I want to.  Probably not surprisingly, this year it's intensified to an even greater degree.  With JC's arrival, my old traditions have become so much more important to me.  And not only Christmas, but the religious traditions I was raised with as well.  With my wonderful husband's blessing, I started going to church again about a month ago, for the first time in 8 years, and I found I felt so much more at peace.  Not because I believed everything that was being said (I actually don't exactly know what I believe in), but because it was so familiar to me.  It felt like home.  So I've been going to church on a regular basis, and I've come to the realization that I still see myself as a Christian.  I love the Jewish traditions, and with time they're sure to become my traditions (some already feel that way to me), but I always felt like an outsider in terms of the cultural piece (even though every Jewish person I met acted as if I was an MOT (member of the tribe)).  In the church, I felt like I belonged and that's why I've made the difficult decision to return to being a Christian, making my marriage an interfaith one.  True to his nature, my husband has been very supportive of this transition for me, but he is understandably concerned about what it means for how we raise JC, as am I.  At this point I feel like I want JC to experience going to church, although I don't know how or if that's even possible and have him still connect with Judaism.  Because it's all up in the air at this point, and because these are very important emotional decisions, we're looking into finding some interfaith counseling.  We're certainly not the first interfaith couple, and there's no need to trail blaze without some guidance.  I’m hoping that others have figured out ways for both sides of the interfaith couple to be relatively happy.  No, it won’t be perfect, and I recognize there will need to be compromises on both sides, but we do have our mutual love and respect for each other going for us, and I think we’ll be able to sort it out.  Making the decision to return to calling myself Christian has at least alleviated the heavy feeling I had about Christmas (now it feels like I’m allowed to celebrate it again), although I still feel I want to tread carefully in terms of decorating, etc.  But this is just the first year of trying Christmas in our home, and I hope that with time it becomes the happy season for all of us that it was when I was growing up.